Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2

gerardM Dim 25 Oct - 15:16

Three lunatics approach their Asylum doctor with a request for a weekend pass to the local city.
"That's impossible says the doctor. You're all nuts. You'll get lost and never come back."
But, the lunatics wouldn't relent until finally, exasperated, the doctor says "OK! If you can answer a simple question I'll sign the pass."
He turns to the first lunatic and says "What's three times three?"
The lunatic starts counting on his fingers "3, 7, 19, 38?. Is it 128?"
The doctor shakes his head and turns to the next lunatic: "What's three times three?"
The lunatic immediately shouts "WEDNESDAY!"
The doctor, beginning to get disgusted turns to the last lunatic: What's three times three?"
The lunatic thinks for a moment and then asks for a pencil and a piece of paper. That provided, she writes for some time furiously, and finally looks up and says "Nine."
The doctor is amazed, but true to his word he begins filling out the pass. As he's writing he says "This is incredible, you've always been thoroughly insane. How'd you do it?"
The lunatic responds, "Oh, it was easy I divided 128 by Wednesday!"

gerardM Dim 25 Oct - 16:00

MurielB Dim 25 Oct - 22:27

Is it a usual prayer by ladies?

Gérard, I have a mug at home with that sentence. My daughters love it;

gerardM Mar 27 Oct - 10:27

With all the new technology regarding fertility, an 88-year-old woman was recently able to give birth to a baby.
When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, various relatives came to visit. "May we see the new baby?" one of them asked.
"Not yet," said the mother. "I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while first."
Another half hour passed before another relative asked, "May we see the new baby now?"
"No, not yet," said the mother.
A while later and again the guests asked, "May we see the baby now?"
"No, not yet," replied the mother.
Growing impatient, they asked, "Well, when can we see the baby?"
"When it cries!" she told them.
"When it cries?" they gasped. "Why do we have to wait until it cries?"
"Because, I forgot where I put it."

gerardM Mar 27 Oct - 11:41

gerardM Mar 27 Oct - 11:48

gerardM Mar 27 Oct - 11:52

gerardM Mar 27 Oct - 11:54

MurielB Mar 27 Oct - 22:08

Gérard
There is no stopping scientific advances

With all the new technology regarding fertility, an 88-year-old woman was recently able to give birth to a baby.

gerardM Mer 28 Oct - 0:36

MurielB a écrit:Gérard
There is no stopping scientific advances

With all the new technology regarding fertility, an 88-year-old woman was recently able to give birth to a baby.

Yes but have a look at Dawn French's forum Smile

at this age they lose memory.

MurielB Mer 28 Oct - 7:32

Fortunately the baby whines and its cry makes her spot where It is

gerardM Mer 28 Oct - 11:36

A plane leaves Los Angeles airport under the control of a Jewish captain. His copilot is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together, and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.
Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, "I don't like Chinese."
"No like Chinese?" asks the copilot, "Why?"
"You people bombed Pearl Harbor, that's why!"
"No, no," the co-pilot protests, "Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah! That Japanese, not Chinese."
"Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese... doesn't matter, you're all alike!"
There's a few minutes of silence...
"I no like Jews either!" the copilot suddenly announces.
"Oh yeah, why not?" asks the captain.
"Jews sink Titanic."
"What? That's insane! Jews didn't sink the Titanic!" exclaims the captain, "It was an iceberg!"
"Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg ...no mattah... all same."

gerardM Mer 28 Oct - 12:07

gerardM Mer 28 Oct - 12:11

gerardM Mer 28 Oct - 20:17

gerardM Mer 28 Oct - 20:28

gerardM Ven 30 Oct - 2:27

Dawn French Fan Club 2 - Page 6 12189000_991554274235636_7048482919523833027_n

Here you can see the nature of English people.

MurielB Ven 30 Oct - 8:39

Gérard, I think it is a good advice for everyone !

Be stong, flexible, loving and move forward !

gerardM Ven 30 Oct - 11:05

Hi Muriel,

I added this comment

Here you can see the nature of English people.

I wrote "English" but I was surprised.
I stated English because Dawn French is English and I assumed she had written the text...
I probably made a mistake with "English". The minions are not English and Dawn French probably took this pic from another author.

Anyway. I think these words are not French and wz should adopt them (for me the French are more passive, less dynamic counting on governmental organizations to take care of them: a pity).

MurielB Ven 30 Oct - 11:50

counting on governmental organizations to take care of them

Never count on governmental organizations for anything, they are not trustworthy. They easily change their mind when they need your money. What a Face

gerardM Ven 30 Oct - 15:08

Ron was almost 29 years old. Most of his friends were already married while Ron just bounced from one relationship to the next.
Finally a friend asked him, "What's the matter, are you looking for the perfect woman? Are you THAT particular? Can't you find anyone who suits you?"
"No," Ron replied. "I meet a lot of nice girls, but as soon as I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them. So I keep on looking!"
"Listen," his friend suggested, "Why don't you find a girl who's just like your dear old Mother?"
Many weeks passed before Ron and his friend crossed paths again.
"So Ron. Did you find the perfect girl yet. One that's just like your Mother?"
Ron shrugged his shoulders, "Yes I found one just like my Mum. My mother loved her, they became great friends."
"Excellent!!! So... Are you and this girl engaged yet?"
"I'm afraid not," Ron replied, "My Father can't stand her!"

gerardM Ven 30 Oct - 15:14

gerardM Ven 30 Oct - 20:58

gerardM Ven 30 Oct - 21:07

gerardM Sam 31 Oct - 17:58