Dawn French Fan Club 2

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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2

Message  MurielB le Sam 18 Fév - 20:34

Thanks a lot !

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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2

Message  gerardM le Sam 18 Fév - 23:07


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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2

Message  gerardM le Dim 19 Fév - 11:56

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Wairarapa. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in New Zealand and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in North Wairarapa. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.'"
The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney.
His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees!
His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth.
The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and remaining strength and very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."

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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2

Message  gerardM le Dim 19 Fév - 12:02


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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2

Message  gerardM le Dim 19 Fév - 12:03


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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2

Message  gerardM le Dim 19 Fév - 12:37


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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2

Message  gerardM le Dim 19 Fév - 21:14


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I believe that forging strong links with people makes us happy !

Message  MurielB le Dim 19 Fév - 22:26



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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2

Message  gerardM le Lun 20 Fév - 11:05


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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2

Message  gerardM le Lun 20 Fév - 14:26

A store has just opened in New York City that offered free husbands.
When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:
"You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors to choose from. You may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!"
So, a woman goes to the store to find a husband.
On the 1st floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs
The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely Good Looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the 4th floor and sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims. "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the Sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 71,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that you are impossible to please.Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a Wife Store just across the street.
The 1st first floor has wives that love sex.
The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and have money.
The 3rd through 6th floors have never been visited...

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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2

Message  MurielB le Lun 20 Fév - 22:18

Gérard does it mean that men are easily contented whereas women are not or does it mean that men are only interested by sex and money ?  Cool

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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2

Message  gerardM le Lun 20 Fév - 22:29

MurielB a écrit:Gérard does it mean that men are easily contented whereas women are not or does it mean that men are only interested by sex and money ?  Cool
Second alternative I guess. However I'm surprised they go to the second floor.

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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2

Message  gerardM le Mar 21 Fév - 10:29

Muriel,
After a night my position is that the joke is more meaningful that what I wrote.
The first series of statements is well written, with wise words so hats off to the author.
At the same time, the adjectives or the qualities used in this first series are so well chosen that they may have been written by kinda psychologist/sociologist.

My conclusion is that this story should be used for teaching kids at the elementary school

LOL Rolling Eyes

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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2

Message  gerardM le Mar 21 Fév - 15:47

A policeman noticed an old lady standing on a street corner during a sudden windstorm.
She was bracing herself by holding a lightpost with one hand, and she was holding her hat snuggly against her head with her other hand.
Unfortunately, a strong gust blew her dress upward, and it continued to flap in the wind, exposing her privates for everyone to see.
The policeman asked, "Hey Lady, eveybody is taking a look at what you`ve got. Don`t you think that pulling your dress down is more important than worrying about your hat?"
"Look, sonny, what these people are looking at is 60 years old... But the hat is BRAND NEW!"

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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2

Message  MurielB le Mar 21 Fév - 22:25

gerardM a écrit:
Muriel,
After a night my position is that the joke is more meaningful that what I wrote.
The first series of statements is well written, with wise words so hats off to the author.
At the same time, the adjectives or the qualities used in this first series are so well chosen that they may have been written by kinda psychologist/sociologist.

My conclusion is that this story should be used for teaching kids at the elementary school

LOL  Rolling Eyes

Gérard fortunately you have slept on the issue and come to the right conclusion !

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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2

Message  gerardM le Mar 21 Fév - 22:49

MurielB a écrit:...
Gérard fortunately you have slept on the issue and come to the right conclusion !
Do you agree with me and say this story should be taught in elementary schools?

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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2

Message  MurielB le Mer 22 Fév - 9:30

Gérard I just wanted to use the expression "you have slept on the issue and come to the right conclusion !" which I find very good. I agree that this story is no good for elementary school children.

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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2

Message  gerardM le Mer 22 Fév - 11:33

Hi Muriel,
MurielB a écrit:;;; this story is no good for elementary school children.
When will you teach boys all of the needs and wills of women then? If you choose not to teach this in elementary schools, you encourage men with their ancestor's behaviors and women to complain Wink

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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2

Message  gerardM le Mer 22 Fév - 14:32


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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2

Message  gerardM le Mer 22 Fév - 14:44


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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2

Message  gerardM le Mer 22 Fév - 14:45


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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2

Message  gerardM le Mer 22 Fév - 15:06

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2

Message  MurielB le Mer 22 Fév - 17:17

gerardM a écrit:

what about enjoying your selfie? Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2

Message  gerardM le Mer 22 Fév - 17:25


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PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2

Message  gerardM le Jeu 23 Fév - 15:55

Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs.
"Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk towards the cart.
"Two dogs, please," says one. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige and he wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the nuns hurry over to a bench and begin to unwrap their 'dogs.'
The mother superior is first to open hers. She begins to blush and then, staring at it for a moment, leans over to the other nun and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"

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