Jennifer Saunders Fan Club

Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, the pretty girl said, "I would like to buy this material for my new dress. How much does it cost?"
"Only one kiss per yard," replied the male clerk with a smirk on his face.
"That's fine," said the girl. "I'll take ten yards."
With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, then teasingly held it out.
The girl snapped up the package, pointed to the old man behind her, and smiled, "Grandpa's gonna pay the bill."

Reaching the end of an extensive job interview, the HR person asked a young Engineer fresh out of college, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"
The engineering graduate said, "In the range of $100,000 - 125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The HR person said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, a company matching retirement fund for 50% of your salary, and a company car leased every 2 years -- say, a brand new BMW?"
The engineering graduate sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"
And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."