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Dawn French Fan Club 2

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Message  gerardM Lun 4 Avr - 17:46

A married couple was in a terrible accident and the woman’s face was severely burned.
The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.
However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman’s new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!
One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, “Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you."
“My darling,” he replied, “think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.”

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33583
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Message  MurielB Lun 4 Avr - 18:21

Very Happy

_________________
France Merci de me faire part des grosses fautes dans mes messages en langue étrangère (en Message Privé). Grâce à vos remarques, je pourrai m'améliorer  :-) 
Pour n'importe quelle  question =>muriel.bercez@gmail.com
Pour connaitre le mode d'emploi=>PRESENTATION
You Don't speak French              =>Gb,De, Esp, It 
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Message  MurielB Mar 5 Avr - 20:44

Hi Gérard, everyone !
It 's very difficult to be a mother- in- law ! Look a all the jokes about us ....
Why do they bury mothers-in-law 18 feet down, when everyone else is buried 6 feet down?

A:  Because, deep down, they really are very nice people.



It's just one of them because there are loads of horrible jokes about mothers-in-law Sad

_________________
France Merci de me faire part des grosses fautes dans mes messages en langue étrangère (en Message Privé). Grâce à vos remarques, je pourrai m'améliorer  :-) 
Pour n'importe quelle  question =>muriel.bercez@gmail.com
Pour connaitre le mode d'emploi=>PRESENTATION
You Don't speak French              =>Gb,De, Esp, It 
MurielB
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Message  gerardM Mer 6 Avr - 16:30

A man calls home to his wife and says, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing at a big lake with my boss and several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so would you please pack me enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box. We're leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up. Oh! And please pack my new blue silk pajamas."
The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy but being a good wife she does exactly what her husband asked. The following weekend he comes home a little tired but otherwise looking good.
The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish. He says, "Yes! Lots of Walleye, some Blue gill, and a few Pike. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?"
The wife replies; "I did, they were in your tackle box."

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33583
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
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Message  gerardM Ven 8 Avr - 14:50


Dawn French Fan Club 2 - Page 21 12936526_1085640724826990_4425506199520351252_n

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33583
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

http://volangues.blogspot.com/

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Message  gerardM Ven 8 Avr - 14:54

Three men were discussing coincidences. The first man said, " my wife was reading 'A tale of two cities' and she gave birth to twins"
"That’s funny", the second man remarked, "my wife was reading 'The Three Musketeers' and she gave birth to triplets"
The third man shouted, "Good God, I have to rush home!"
When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed, "When I left the house, my wife was reading 'Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves"!!!

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33583
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

http://volangues.blogspot.com/

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Message  MurielB Ven 8 Avr - 20:51

Here is another one about delivery coïncidences
                                    
Dawn French Fan Club 2 - Page 21 Annie_green.24.770621                                                                                                    
 Four expectant fathers pace in a hospital waiting room while their wives are in labor. The nurse enters and tells the first man, "Congratulations, you're the father of twins."

"What a coincidence," the man says. "I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team."

A little later, the nurse returns and tells the second man, "You are the father of triplets."

"That's really an incredible coincidence," he answers. "I work for the 3M Corporation."

An hour later, the nurse tells the third man that his wife has just given birth to quadruplets.

The man says, "I don't believe it! I work for the Four Seasons. What a coincidence!"

After hearing this, everyone's attention turns to the fourth guy, who has just fainted. He slowly regains consciousness and whispers, "I should have never taken that job at Millennium Computers."

_________________
France Merci de me faire part des grosses fautes dans mes messages en langue étrangère (en Message Privé). Grâce à vos remarques, je pourrai m'améliorer  :-) 
Pour n'importe quelle  question =>muriel.bercez@gmail.com
Pour connaitre le mode d'emploi=>PRESENTATION
You Don't speak French              =>Gb,De, Esp, It 
MurielB
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Message  gerardM Ven 8 Avr - 21:29

Very Happy

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33583
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

http://volangues.blogspot.com/

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Message  gerardM Sam 9 Avr - 11:53

The curiosity of the passenger was excited by the fact that his seat mate had his right arm in a sling, and the following dialogue occurred:
"You broke your arm, didn't you?"
"Well, yes, I did."
"Had an accident, I suppose?"
"Not exactly. I did it in trying to pat myself on the back."
"My land! On the back! Now, whatever did you want to pat yourself on the back for?"
"Just for minding my own business."

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33583
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

http://volangues.blogspot.com/

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Message  gerardM Lun 11 Avr - 17:47

Issy goes with Sarah to his local opticians to buy a new pair of glasses for himself. He chooses a pair 'off-the shelf', pays for them and leaves wearing them. As they are a bit hungry, they decide to have a coffee and a sandwich at a nearby restaurant.
As he is looking through the menu, Issy says, "Sarah, you better order for me. I'm seeing everything double with my new glasses. And while you're doing that, I'm going to the toilet."
When Issy returns, Sarah notices that the front of his trousers are wet.
"Oy Vay," says Sarah, "What happened Issy? Your trousers are all wet?"
"You wouldn't believe it," Issy replies, "I was standing in front of the urinal and when I looked down, I saw two. So I put one back!"

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33583
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

http://volangues.blogspot.com/

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Message  MurielB Mer 13 Avr - 18:03

Very Happy

_________________
France Merci de me faire part des grosses fautes dans mes messages en langue étrangère (en Message Privé). Grâce à vos remarques, je pourrai m'améliorer  :-) 
Pour n'importe quelle  question =>muriel.bercez@gmail.com
Pour connaitre le mode d'emploi=>PRESENTATION
You Don't speak French              =>Gb,De, Esp, It 
MurielB
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Message  gerardM Dim 17 Avr - 17:13


Dawn French Fan Club 2 - Page 21 13007246_1090172124373850_2559522386664035531_n

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33583
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

http://volangues.blogspot.com/

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Message  gerardM Dim 17 Avr - 17:45


Dawn French Fan Club 2 - Page 21 13007213_1090171717707224_1450885549075777205_n

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33583
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

http://volangues.blogspot.com/

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Message  gerardM Lun 18 Avr - 15:00


Dawn French Fan Club 2 - Page 21 12998731_1090173221040407_7258070747958343462_n

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33583
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

http://volangues.blogspot.com/

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Message  MurielB Mar 19 Avr - 17:00

gerardM a écrit:

Dawn French Fan Club 2 - Page 21 13007213_1090171717707224_1450885549075777205_n
Poor women !

_________________
France Merci de me faire part des grosses fautes dans mes messages en langue étrangère (en Message Privé). Grâce à vos remarques, je pourrai m'améliorer  :-) 
Pour n'importe quelle  question =>muriel.bercez@gmail.com
Pour connaitre le mode d'emploi=>PRESENTATION
You Don't speak French              =>Gb,De, Esp, It 
MurielB
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Message  gerardM Ven 22 Avr - 14:44


Dawn French Fan Club 2 - Page 21 12993342_1092241010833628_3636083294120117821_n

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33583
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

http://volangues.blogspot.com/

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Message  gerardM Ven 22 Avr - 15:51

Dawn French Fan Club 2 - Page 21 13076688_1093541360703593_9115558293051217092_n

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33583
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

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Message  gerardM Ven 22 Avr - 15:55


Dawn French Fan Club 2 - Page 21 13015333_1093541174036945_2921606920594694273_n

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33583
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

http://volangues.blogspot.com/

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Message  gerardM Dim 24 Avr - 16:02

Little Johnny sees his Daddy’s car passing the playground and going into the woods. Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy and Aunt Jane kissing.
Johnny finds this so exciting and can barely contain himself as he runs home and starts to tell his mother excitedly.
“MOMMY, MOMMY, I WAS AT THE PLAYGROUND AND DADDY AND….”
Mommy tells him to slow down, but that she wants to hear the story.
So Johnny tells her. “I was at the playground and I saw Daddy’s car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went to look and Daddy was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt, then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane laid down on the seat, then Daddy….”
At this point, Mommy cut him off and said, “Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy’s face when you tell it tonight.”
At the dinner table, Mommy asks Johnny to tell his story.
He describes the car into the woods, the undressing, laying down on the seat, and, “Then Daddy and Aunt Jane did that same thing Mommy and Uncle Jeff used to do when Daddy was in the Army.”

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33583
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

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Message  gerardM Dim 24 Avr - 16:13


Dawn French Fan Club 2 - Page 21 13076962_1094585400599189_2305912133001521562_n

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33583
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

http://volangues.blogspot.com/

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Message  gerardM Dim 24 Avr - 16:31

Dawn French Fan Club 2 - Page 21 13006681_1094583533932709_7296075257198680405_n

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33583
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

http://volangues.blogspot.com/

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Message  gerardM Dim 24 Avr - 16:35


Dawn French Fan Club 2 - Page 21 13001136_1094580650599664_8254695371340556996_n

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33583
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

http://volangues.blogspot.com/

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Message  gerardM Dim 24 Avr - 17:20

Dawn French Fan Club 2 - Page 21 11140757_1094579970599732_6150347421679926499_n

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33583
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

http://volangues.blogspot.com/

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Message  gerardM Lun 25 Avr - 11:58

A little old lady had always wanted to join a local biker club, so one day she goes up and knocks on the door. A big, hairy bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answers.
She proclaims, “I want to join your club.”
The guy was amused, but says she needs to meet certain biker requirements in order to join.
The biker asks, “Do you have a motorcycle?”
The little old lady replies, “Yep… my bike’s parked over there,” and points to a flamed black Harley chopper in the driveway.
The biker asks, “Do you drink?”
The little old lady replies, “Yep… drink like a fish. I’ll drink any man in your club under the table.”
The biker asks, “Do you smoke?”
The little old lady replies, “Yep… smoke like a chimney. At least 4 packs of cigarettes and a couple of cigars in the evening, while I’m shooting pool.”
The biker is very impressed and asks, “Last question…. have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?”
The little old lady thinks for a minute and says, “Nope……but I’ve been swung around by my nipples a few times.”


I'm afraid I need a couple of explanations... Sad

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33583
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

http://volangues.blogspot.com/

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Message  gerardM Lun 25 Avr - 12:01


Dawn French Fan Club 2 - Page 21 13076612_1094585503932512_1353812550368282925_n

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33583
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

http://volangues.blogspot.com/

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