Dawn French Fan Club 3

Oh, the irony!




10 Illustrations That Show Just How Much the Internet Has Changed Our Lives
This is ironic.

BRIGHTSIDE.ME|DE BRIGHT SIDE

Lawyers should never ask a Grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial in Mississippi, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand... a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot, when you haven't got the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state... not to mention, he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."
The defense attorney nearly died on the spot.
The judge asked both counselors to approached the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said... "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair."

Blockbuster's ad probably had a 100% success rate




These "Help Wanted" Signs Are So Funny, You Might Even Want To Apply
At least they're honest
RANKER.COM

This is what I’m gonna leave to my grandchildren.




We Learned These Tricks at School, and They Still Work
This is what I’m gonna leave to my grandchildren.

BRIGHTSIDE.ME|DE BRIGHT SIDE

Magic Number 5
I was walking down the street the other day when I saw my best friend Jeff. I walked up to him and mentioned that I had the craziest dream the other night.
Jeff listened as I told him that the dream consisted of just one thing.
A huge glowing number "5". It was made of gold and sparkled with shiny diamonds.
Jeff's curiosity was peaked.
I went on to say that the first thing that I did in the morning was to grab the daily racing digest and look up the 5th race.
Jeff raised an eyebrow.
I told him that the #5 horse in the 5th race was named "The 5th Element." Jeff started grinning.
Then I told him point-by-point what I did that entire day.
I ate 5 bowls of cereal for breakfast and drank 5 cups of coffee
I went for a 5 mile jog to clear my head
I took a 5 minute shower to rinse off
I dressed in the 5th suit I found in my closet
I sat in my car for 5 minutes before starting it
I drove to the racetrack and parked in the 5th stall in the 5th row
I entered through the 5th admissions gate
I bought 5 programs
I went to the 5th betting window and bet $555 on the 5th horse in the 5th race
I went and sat in the 5th row of the bleachers making sure there were 5 people sitting on both sides of me.
I settled in and waited for the race to start.
"Well," said Jeff. "Did your horse win??"
I frowned at Jeff and said, "Stupid horse came in 5th."

Hi Muriel,

> the dream consisted of just one thing
Thanks to this text, I could realize that consist can have 2 prepositions: "of" and "in" with 2 slightly different meanings.

> Jeff's curiosity was peaked
We've the same verb in French: "sa curiosité a été piquée" who borrowed it from the other?

> daily racing digest
In France, we know (at least I do) the "Reader's digest": "digest" is translated into "revue".

> I dressed in the 5th suit I found in my closet
US closet is Br wardrobe.

> I went and sat in the 5th row of the bleachers making sure...
(outdoors eg stadium) US bleachers = Br terraces = Fr gradins
(indoors) tier