Aussie Joke

Aller en bas

Aussie Joke Empty Aussie Joke

Message  Invité le Lun 18 Avr - 16:58

I dedicate this joke to Krystyna in view of her Aussie upbringing. I also post it to prove that I don't just make jokes at the expense of the Irish - Aussies and indeed the Chinese will also do!! I apologise for some of the slightly offensive words, but we have had worse recently Muriel!! Twisted Evil Here it is:

A Chinese man decides to move to Australia after 50 years of living in Shanghai. A few days after he moves in, his friendly Aussie neighbour decides to go across and welcome the new guy to the region, so he goes next door but on his way up the drive-way he sees the Chinese man running around his front yard chasing about 10 hens. Not wanting to interrupt these 'Chinese customs', he decides to put the welcome on hold for the day.

The next day, he decides to try again, but just as he is about to knock on the front door, he looks through the window and sees the Chinese man urinate into a glass and then drink it. Not wanting to interrupt another 'Chinese custom', he decides to put the welcome on hold for yet another day.

A day later he decides to give it one last go, but on his way next door, he sees the Chinese man leading a bull down the drive-way, pause, and then put his head next to the bull's bum.

The Aussie bloke can't handle this, so he goes up to the Chinese man and says 'Jeez Mate, what the hell is it with your Chinese customs? I come over to welcome you to the neighbourhood, and see you running around the yard after hens. The next day you are pissing in a glass, and drinking it, and then today you have your head so close to that bull's bum, it could just about shit on you.'

The Chinese man is very taken back and says 'Sorry sir, you no understand, these no Chinese customs I doing, these Australian Customs.'

'What do you mean mate' says the Aussie, 'Those aren't Australian customs.'

'Yes they are, man at travel agent tell me' replied the Chinese man,
'He say to become true Australian, I learn chase chicks, drink piss, and listen to bull-shit'

Invité
Invité


Revenir en haut Aller en bas

Aussie Joke Empty Re: Aussie Joke

Message  gerardM le Lun 18 Avr - 17:14

LOLOLOL Laughing Laughing
Chinese are very serious people!

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33594
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

http://volangues.blogspot.com/

Revenir en haut Aller en bas

Aussie Joke Empty Re: Aussie Joke

Message  krystynaD le Lun 18 Avr - 22:23

Damn good one, thank you Bob ! Very Happy
As an Aussie politician used to say ... "I'm not racist, I hate everybody equally !"

Maybe some explanations about the joke could help out the bewildered ...

chase chicks : literally meaning to chase chickens, but in slang it means to chase girls and try to flirt with them

drink piss : literally meaning to drink urine, but in slang it means to drink beer

listen to bull-shit : no literal meaning ! but in slang it means to listen to fanciful stories and lies
krystynaD
krystynaD

Messages : 267
Lieu : Paris
Langues : Australian English (Langue maternelle), Fr, Pol

Revenir en haut Aller en bas

Aussie Joke Empty Re: Aussie Joke

Message  MurielB le Lun 18 Avr - 22:31

Thank you Krystyna, I understand the joke much better Very Happy :

_________________
France Merci de me faire part des grosses fautes dans mes messages en langue étrangère. Grâce à vos remarques, je pourrai m'améliorer  :-) 
Merci pour votre réponse. Connectez vous (cliquez sur "connexion" et insérez "mot de passe" et "nom d’utilisateur") puis cliquez sur “répondre “ Pour avoir vos identifiants, inscrivez-vous  sur le forum www.cafe-polyglotte.com et pour tout autre question envoyez un mail : muriel.bercez@gmail.com ou =>PRESENTATION (Mode d'emploi du forum)=>Gb,De, Esp, It 
MurielB
MurielB
Admin

Messages : 14371
Lieu : Calais
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), Gb, De, It, Es

Revenir en haut Aller en bas

Aussie Joke Empty Re: Aussie Joke

Message  gerardM le Lun 18 Avr - 22:31

chase girls and try to flirt with them, drink beer, listen to fanciful stories and lies
3 Australian specialties along with Barbies & Beach!

Fanciful stories and lies are specialties in Marseilles as well.

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33594
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

http://volangues.blogspot.com/

Revenir en haut Aller en bas

Aussie Joke Empty Re: Aussie Joke

Message  krystynaD le Lun 18 Avr - 22:39

You're welcome Muriel ! Smile

(I didn't think the joke would be easily understood by everybody here)
krystynaD
krystynaD

Messages : 267
Lieu : Paris
Langues : Australian English (Langue maternelle), Fr, Pol

Revenir en haut Aller en bas

Revenir en haut


 
Permission de ce forum:
Vous ne pouvez pas répondre aux sujets dans ce forum