"How old do you look ?" from Guy Michaux : Liège polyglot circle president

You ever been guilty at looking at others your own age and thinking surely I can't look that old ? well...you 'll love this one !
My name is Alice Smith and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointement with a new dentist. I noticed his dental diploma, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark haired boy with the same name had been in my secondary school some 30-old year ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on,way back then ?
Upon seeing him , however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding grey haired man with the deeply lined face was far too old to have been my classmate. After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park secondery school. "Yes, yes, I did. I'm a Morganner !" He beamed with pride.
"When did you leave to go to college?"I asked. He answered "In 1964. Why do you ask ?"
"You were in my class" I esclaimed. He looked at me closely. Then the ugly, old, bald, wrinkled, fat arsed, grey haired, decrepit bastard asked..."What did you teach ?"

A bit mean but so frank and honest! LOLOLOL

NB: "Mean" has got several meanings , here it's "nasty".