Things Confucius didn't say

CONFUCIUS DIDN'T SAY


Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.

Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.

Better to be pissed off than pissed on.

Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent.

Squirrel who runs up womans' leg will not find nuts.

Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.

Man who runs in front of car gets tired, man who runs behind car gets
exhausted.

Man who eats many prunes get good run for money.

War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left.

Man who fight with wife all day get no peace at night.

It takes many nails to build a crib, but one screw to fill it.

Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Man who fish in other man's well, often catch crabs.

"A lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood!"

Hi Bob,
Thanks for these, very funny !
My favourite is ...
It takes many nails to build a crib, but one screw to fill it !
Oh dear, but how to explain to those who don't cotton on !

Hello Krystyna, Bob
Thank you very much . There must be two meanings for "screw" but I don't know what they are

Hi Muriel,

Well there is one meaning of the word screw which refers to the small metal objects used for joining pieces of wood together, and there is the other connotation which is perhaps less appropriate for a public forum, but which in the absence of suitable protection might (eventually) produce a baby.

I think I am responsible for you learning a lot of naughty words en anglais!! Apologies!

Bob

Thank you very much Bob.

Hi Bob, hi Muriel,

Bob's reply was somewhat ambiguous !

So, to make it absolutely clear ...
A nail is a clou (in French) and a screw is a vis (in French)

But, "screw" is also a slang term for faire l'amour !