Re: Dawn French Fan Club 3

MurielB Sam 7 Oct - 21:52

gerardM a écrit:> I’ve been in the open air, day after day, rain or shine, for the last 75th years
There's a mistake, read " I’ve been in the open air, day after day, rain or shine, for the last 75 years".

Well spotted Gerard !

gerardM Dim 8 Oct - 12:25

A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph.
The man eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls over.
The cop approaches the car and says, "It's been a long day and my shift is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I'll let you go."
The guy thinks for a few seconds and then says, "My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back!"

gerardM Dim 8 Oct - 12:36

gerardM Dim 8 Oct - 17:53

MurielB Dim 8 Oct - 21:42

Under certain circumstances I know I could be evil, coward, horrible. Let's hope these circumstances won't take place. Do you like Goldman's words

If I was born in 1917 in Leidenstadt,
On the ruins of a battlefield
Would I have been better or worse than its people
If I’d been German?

Brought up with humiliation, hatred and ignorance
Cutting my teeth on dreams of revenge
Would I have been improbably conscientious,
Tears in the midst of a flood?

gerardM Dim 8 Oct - 22:50

Marriages are held together with love, honesty...and remembering that laughing at tweets like these is cheaper than divorce lawyers.

Dawn French Fan Club 3 - Page 36 Safe_image.php?d=AQAh_CyZ6WHk_PPj&w=476&h=249&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.twentytwowords.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2Ffeaturedmarraigetweet

Dawn French Fan Club 3 - Page 36 Safe_image.php?d=AQAh_CyZ6WHk_PPj&w=476&h=249&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.twentytwowords.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2Ffeaturedmarraigetweet

Hilarious Tweets That Perfectly Sum Up Married Life
If you’re married, you’ll TOTALLY relate to these… If not, you’ll just have a whole lot of laughs at our expense!
TWENTYTWOWORDS.COM

gerardM Lun 9 Oct - 16:44

gerardM Lun 9 Oct - 16:55

There was an elderly couple who in their old age noticed that they were getting a lot more forgetful, so they decided to go to the doctor.
The doctor told them that they should start writing things down so they don't forget. They went home and the old lady told her husband to get her a bowl of ice cream. "You might want to write it down," she said.
The husband said, "No, I can remember that you want a bowl of ice cream."
She then told her husband she wanted a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream. "Write it down," she told him.
Again he said, "No, no, I can remember: you want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream."
Then the old lady said she wants a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top. "Write it down," she told her husband.
He said, "No, I got it. You want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top."
So he goes to get the ice cream and spends an unusually long time in the kitchen, over 30 minutes. He comes out to his wife and hands her a plate of eggs and bacon.
The old wife stares at the plate for a moment, then looks at her husband and asks, "Where's the toast?"

MurielB Lun 9 Oct - 22:55

gerardM Mar 10 Oct - 20:20

gerardM Mar 10 Oct - 20:34

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Dawn French Fan Club 3 - Page 36 Safe_image.php?d=AQBvKikMzoRQ0NHn&w=476&h=249&url=https%3A%2F%2Ffiles.brightside.me%2Ffiles%2Fnews%2Fpart_36%2F365510%2Fpreview-15522660-1200x630-99-1502801030

Dawn French Fan Club 3 - Page 36 Safe_image.php?d=AQBvKikMzoRQ0NHn&w=476&h=249&url=https%3A%2F%2Ffiles.brightside.me%2Ffiles%2Fnews%2Fpart_36%2F365510%2Fpreview-15522660-1200x630-99-1502801030

21 Puzzling and Hilarious Signs From All Over the World
What’s going on here?

BRIGHTSIDE.ME

MurielB Mar 10 Oct - 21:06

Some of the signs are very suggestive !

gerardM Mer 11 Oct - 23:29

Happy birthday Dawn French
Dawn French Fan Club 3 - Page 36 22405799_1610046082386449_6093544173175267558_n

MurielB Jeu 12 Oct - 23:17

congratulations on your 60th birthday.

Dawn French Fan Club 3 - Page 36 Happy-birthday-card-60-sixty-year-cake-vector-id630021138

gerardM Ven 13 Oct - 17:56

gerardM Ven 13 Oct - 18:05

There was a lady in her 90s who became a sort of local celebrity because she recently got married.
The local news station decided to interview her.
The interviewer asked questions like how it was to be a newlywed in her 90s.
"This isn't my first husband, so it's not much different than the others," she replied with a smile.
"Oh? How many husbands have you had?" the interviewer inquired.
"This one will be my fourth," she replied.
"I was married in my 20s to a banker, then in my 40s to a circus performer. After that I married a preacher."
"What does your current husband do?"
"Oh he's a funeral director."
The interviewer laughed and then asked how she came to marry these men from such different backgrounds and personalities.
"It always made sense to me," she replied.
"I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."

I suppose you thought of a R'n'R song...

gerardM Ven 13 Oct - 18:26

MurielB Ven 13 Oct - 22:24

Gérard I don't know what " are went" means.
I would have said "Gone are the days when people spoke good English"

gerardM Ven 13 Oct - 22:59

MurielB a écrit:Gérard I don't know what " are went" means.
I would have said "Gone are the days when people spoke good English"

Muriel, I don't know what they mean but I guess it's an old form that was/is very poshy.

"are went" is used on purpose here above.

Asking a search engine, I could find several pages:
-> Finally,I don’t know how these many days are went. I came to know that our English will be improved only if we do the following in a systematic manner.
-> the shopping days are went by without anything
-> because days are went by the absence of your friends
-> Did u bring a TH with you? few days are went 4/4 drop w/ TH..next run 0/5 w/o TH Sad

-> days are went successfully

gerardM Sam 14 Oct - 21:37

Muriel,
KrystynaD neverheard about "are went" and is horrified.

So horrified that I couldn't even ask her to take a look...
Very Happy

gerardM Sam 14 Oct - 21:45

A man drives into a gas station. The attendant goes to fill his tank and notices 5 penguins in the back seat.
The attendant says, "Hey - why do you have 5 penguins in your car?"
The driver says, "I KNOW! I was just stopped at a light back there and they climbed into my car and now I don't know what to do!"
The attendant thinks for a second and says, "I'll tell you what I'd do - I'd take them to the zoo."
The driver says, "That's a good idea - I'll do that!"
A week later the driver pulls into the gas station and the attendant sees the same 5 penguins, only now they're wearing sunglasses.
The attendant asks, "What are you doing?! I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo!"
"We did go! We had a great time! Today we're going to the beach!"

gerardM Sam 14 Oct - 21:47

gerardM a écrit:
Muriel,
KrystynaD neverheard about "are went" and is horrified.

So horrified that I couldn't even ask her to take a look...

Krystyna's conclusion:
All of the texts we are led to (via my links) are crap, written by foreigners!! affraid

gerardM Sam 14 Oct - 21:52

gerardM a écrit:

So,

This sentence is incorrect.
It's a wink to make fun of incorrect English.
In the sentence, speaking of lost proper English, it's funny to make such a huge mistake!

gerardM Sam 14 Oct - 22:01

This very sentence

Sadly, the days of people using proper English are went.

is used to list a series of mistakes in English language.

For example,
-> a full page of funny mistakes
-> another series
-> another series

En language is so precise that it's easy to make mistakes.

MurielB Sam 14 Oct - 22:23

Gérard, I have taken a look at all the mistakes. Like krystyna I am horrified ! affraid