Jennifer Saunders Fan Club -2-

Passengers on a small plane are waiting for the flight to leave.

They're getting a little impatient, but the airport staff assures them the pilots will be there soon, and then the flight can take off.

Finally the entrance opens, and two men dressed in Pilots' uniforms walk up the aisle.

Both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog, and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a white cane.

Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up.

The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke.

None is forthcoming.

The plane moves faster and faster down the runway, and the people sitting in the window seats realize they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport territory.

As it begins to look as though the plane will plow into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin.

At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon all retreat into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the

plane really is in good hands.

Meanwhile, in the cockpit, the pilot turns to the co-pilot and says, "You know, Jim one of these days, they're gonna scream too late and we're all gonna die."

A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner.

A local politician and member of the congregation was to give a speech at the dinner.

He was delayed, so the priest decided to say a few words while they waited.

"I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, screwed over his closest friends, and taken a lot of drugs. I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people."

Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late.

He immediately started his speech. "I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived, In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to go to him in confession."

On his 60th birthday, Jeff bought himself a brand new Corvette convertible.

He took off down the road, flooring it to 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head.

"This is great," he thought as he roared down the Florida highway. He decided to see how fast this baby could really go pushing the pedal to the metal.

He looked in his rear view mirror and saw a State Trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.

"I can get away from him with no problem" Jeff thought as he flew down the road at over 150 mph.

But then it suddenly hit him. "What am I doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing."

He pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the trooper to catch up with him.

The trooper pulled in behind the Corvette and walked up to the car.

"Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes and today is Friday. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

Jeff looked at the Trooper and said, "Years ago my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper... I thought you were bringing her back"

"Have a great day," said the Trooper.

MurielB a écrit:I just wanted to write a few phrasal verbs with to pull
To pull over (of a vehicle) move to the side of or off the road.
To pull up (of a vehicle) to come to a halt s'arreter

To pull in (of a vehicle) to move to the side of or off the road.se ranger he pulled in at the side of the road

I added a few others re cars:
- to pull away - to leave
- to pull back - to move backwards
- to pull in - to stop - eg to pull in to the kerb= s'arrêter le long du trottoir
- to pull out - to emerge Fr déboîter
- to pull over - to stop to the side
- to pull sb over (police) - to force a driver to stop on the side
- to pull up (police) - to arrest

Of course, I made a spelling mistake:

- to pull in - to stop - eg to pull in to the kerb= s'arrêter le long du trottoir