Dawn French Fan Club 4

Five surgeons were talking about the best patients...

First surgeon says, "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything on the inside is numbered."

Second surgeon says, "Nah - librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

Third surgeon responds, "Try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded!"

Fourth surgeon intercedes, "I prefer lawyers. They're heartless, spineless, gutless, and their heads and butts are interchangeable."

To which the fifth surgeon, who has been quietly listening to the conversation, says, "I like engineers. They always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end."

A dog walks into a butcher shop and the butcher asks, “What do you want?” The dog points to steak in a glass case.

“How many pounds?” The dog barks twice.

“Anything else?” The dog points to some pork chops and barks four times. So the butcher wraps up a two-pound steak and four pork chops, and places the bag in the dog’s mouth. He then takes money from a purse tied around the dog’s neck, and sees him out.

A customer, who has been watching in amazement, follows the dog to a house several blocks away, where it rings the doorbell to be let in. As the owner appears at the door, the customer says, “What a remarkable dog!”

“Remarkable?” snorts the owner. “This is the second time this week he’s forgotten his keys.”

Things that took me 50 years to learn, by Dave Barry

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, it's full potential, that word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of it's glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle...

6. You should not confuse your career with your life.

7. No matter what happens ... somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that person is crazy.

9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

10. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

11. Never lick a steak knife.

12. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.

13. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

15. Your friends love you anyway.

I see that you posted a complete page from Reverso including daring meanings.

MurielB a écrit:Gérard I wonder why "quickie" is pronounced "quiche"

No Muriel.
The guy made a mistake: he wanted to order a quiche; quiche had to be pronounced like in French.
Unfortunately he tried to pronounce in the English way:
- the "qu" was pronounced like in quad
- the "ch" has two pronunciations in En -1-like in chess -2-like in archeology
The guy chose the second.
- the ending "e" is often pronounced like in recipe

The result became quickie (pronounced kwiki), so the result led to a completely different word, hence the slap.

"Quiche" is pronounced like in French.

50 Interesting Facts about the Human Body.
I had no idea.

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