Re: British humour

MurielB Mar 31 Aoû - 17:03

Tx John
Donald Reagan had a great sense of humour. after the assassination attempt, the very first thing he said to the First Lady when she arrived at the hospital was, “Honey, I forgot to duck.”

MurielB Jeu 30 Sep - 9:53

Scene: With a patient in my medical exam room Me: How old are your kids? Patient: Forty-four and 39 from my wife who passed away, and from my second wife, 15 and 13. Me: That’s quite the age difference! Patient: Well, the older ones didn’t give me any grandkids, so I made my own. —Mria Murillo

Remy Jeu 30 Sep - 18:51

MurielB Mar 18 Jan - 23:20

What is a kangaroo's favorite year?

- Leap year!

johnB Mer 19 Jan - 17:52

English kangaroos ( although I have yet to see one ) will have a favourite year. johnB.

MurielB Ven 21 Jan - 23:02

MurielB Mar 15 Mar - 22:07

johnB Mer 16 Mar - 12:28

Not necessarily all English jokes ? Did you note " What is a pupil's favourite three words ? A teacher would write " What are a pupil's favourite three words ? Also as is probably known American = math homework but English = maths homework. Both short for mathematics.

My favourite teacher joke is - " At school I was teacher's pet. I was kept in a cage at the back. " johnB.

MurielB Jeu 17 Mar - 22:38

johnB Sam 26 Mar - 11:23

Last week a group of local boy scouts knocked on my front door. They were collecting for a new swimming pool so I gave them a bucket of water. johnB.

Remy Lun 28 Mar - 8:19

This morning, I buttened my shirt and a button fell into my hands. Then I tied my sandals and a yaw remained in my hand. I hardly dare to go and urinate...

johnB Mar 12 Avr - 18:11

I have just bought a new car which drives itself.
Where is it ?
I have no idea. johnB

MurielB Mar 12 Avr - 23:10

MurielB Jeu 14 Avr - 9:48

Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older.

One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, in front of the refrigerator, and I can't remember whether I was taking it out or putting it away."

The second lady said, "Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs, and I can't remember whether I was on my up, or on my way down."

The third lady chimed in, "Well, I'm glad I don't have those problems. Knock on wood." With that, she rapped her knuckles on the table, then said, "That must be the door. I'll get it."

MikouteB Jeu 14 Avr - 10:09

MurielB Jeu 14 Avr - 14:06

johnB a écrit:I have just bought a new car which drives itself.
Where is it ?
I have no idea. johnB

John I have good news for you! They found your car!

-THE WORLD UPSIDE DOWN
Police stop a driverless car
San Francisco police recently faced a novel problem when an officer stopped an autonomous car that was driving at night with its lights off and no one behind the wheel.
without a driver or passenger.
The video of the incident, filmed by a passerby, was broadcast and shared more and more widely on social networks, so much so that Cruise, the company that owns the vehicle, responded on Twitter to explain what had happened.
"Our autonomous vehicle yielded to the police car, then stopped at the nearest safe location after the stop sign, as planned," a Cruise spokeswoman said, commenting on the video shared by a reporter.

johnB Jeu 14 Avr - 17:17

Very good ! I don't believe it ! Is it true or was it an April Fool's joke ? The company say the car stopped for the police but they do not say why
it was moving in the first place. What was really very strange was that the ashtray was full !! ( I just made that up. ) johnB.

MurielB Jeu 14 Avr - 22:36

No John, it‘s not an April fool’s joke Patrick has read the article in the paper.

MikouteB Lun 25 Avr - 22:46

johnB Sam 18 Juin - 11:52

Just in case you thought the football season had finally finished . Last week my football team played on a pitch made of compressed rubble, stones and broken bricks . They won 5-4 on aggregate.

Some reheating of souffle may be needed !

MurielB Dim 19 Juin - 12:28

Hi John
An agregate is a whole formed by combining several separate elements isn't it ? but what does

Some reheating of souffle may be needed !

in that context. Tx for your answer.

MurielB Dim 19 Juin - 23:17

John a écrit: Many English people to whom I have told this “ joke “ have not understood it or it took a while for the penny to drop, if at all. I thought the “joke “ may require an explanation. By reheating the soufflé I mean if you have to explain the joke it loses its immediacy and its humour. I am beginning to talk in riddles so forgive me.

It is a pun on the word “ aggregate “ which does generally mean the result when you add things together i.e. the total.

a: In football when a cup tie is played over two legs with a home match and an away match the two scores are added together. i.e. Away leg 2-2 then Home leg 3-2 and we say the final result is 5-4
“ on aggregate. “

b : In the building trade when they are constructing a new building they may consider the land on which they are building to be not very strong or stable so they try to reinforce it before they start building by adding any old rubbish, stones, bricks etc. just to make the ground a bit more solid. This they call “ aggregate “.

Maria-Vittoria a écrit:

Hi all, as mentioned in last night session here are 2 clips by Rowan Atkinson (Mr Bean for all of you). When it comes to English humour here Is just a very small sample. Simply brilliant. Enjoy!

Rowan Atkinson: Toby the Devil - We Are Most Amused and Amazed - YouTube

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VrwIs10XvKA

Four Weddings and a Funeral Scene - YouTube

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Wm0XqDm8Uh0

MurielB Lun 27 Mar - 17:59

MurielB Lun 27 Mar - 18:01

MurielB Lun 26 Juin - 9:09

Vicky a écrit: Dear wine,
we had a deal. You were to make me funnier, sexier, smarter and a better dancer.

I saw the video, we need to talk.....

(Saw the above writing in a restaurant yesterday)

British humour