Dawn French Fan Club

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Message  gerardM le Mar 17 Mar - 16:18

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.
After the check-up, the doctor took the wife aside and
said, "If you don't do the following, your husband will
surely die".
1.Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast and send him off to work in a good mood.
2.At lunch time, make him a warm, nutritious meal and put him in a good frame of mind before he goes back to work.
3.For dinner, fix an especially nice meal, and don't burden him with household chores.
4.Have sex with him several times a week and satisfy his every whim.
On the way home, the husband asked his wife what the doctor
had told her.
"You're going to die," she replied.

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33594
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Message  gerardM le Mar 17 Mar - 16:24

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_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33594
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
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Message  gerardM le Mar 17 Mar - 16:31


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_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33594
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

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Message  gerardM le Mar 17 Mar - 16:37


Dawn French Fan Club - Page 5 10436092_877583225632742_3034106209051529771_n

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33594
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

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Message  gerardM le Mar 17 Mar - 16:41


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_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33594
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

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Message  gerardM le Mar 17 Mar - 16:50

Dawn French Fan Club - Page 5 10896960_877875788936819_1514417212159832274_n

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33594
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

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Message  gerardM le Mer 18 Mar - 14:56


Dawn French Fan Club - Page 5 10375921_878424258881972_8826999652126925950_n

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33594
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

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Message  gerardM le Mer 18 Mar - 15:05

A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00, which seemed awfully cheap.
"Why so little?" she asked the pet store owner.
The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."
The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam."

The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then found it kind of amusing.

When her 2 teenage daughters returned from school, the bird saw them enter and said, "New house, new madam, new girls."

The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.

Moments later, the woman's husband came home from work.

The bird looked at him and said: "Hi, Bob!"

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33594
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

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Message  gerardM le Mer 18 Mar - 15:14


Dawn French Fan Club - Page 5 11081078_878380342219697_7714675591403201089_n

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33594
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

http://volangues.blogspot.com/

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Message  gerardM le Mer 18 Mar - 15:17

Dawn French Fan Club - Page 5 11081360_878339892223742_54962174887882470_n

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33594
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

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Message  gerardM le Jeu 19 Mar - 16:03


Dawn French Fan Club - Page 5 10660082_878949625496102_5032284896443511137_n

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33594
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

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Message  gerardM le Jeu 19 Mar - 16:11


Dawn French Fan Club - Page 5 10994596_878946838829714_3080986818683285995_n

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33594
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

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Message  gerardM le Jeu 19 Mar - 16:15


Dawn French Fan Club - Page 5 10730923_878943945496670_2916472744772172958_n

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33594
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

http://volangues.blogspot.com/

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Message  gerardM le Jeu 19 Mar - 16:23

A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when
she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down.

The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego?"
"Sure," answered the blonde, "do you need a lift?"
"Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck.
My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back that have to be
taken to the San Diego Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I'll give you $100 for your trouble."
"I'd be happy to," said the blonde.
So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the
blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts, and off
they went.
Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of
San Diego when suddenly he was horrified! There was the blonde walking down the street, holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd.
With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the
blonde. "What are you doing here?" he demanded, "I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo."
"Yes, I know you did," said the blonde. "But we had money left over
so now we're going to Sea World."

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33594
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

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Message  gerardM le Jeu 19 Mar - 16:29


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_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33594
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

http://volangues.blogspot.com/

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Message  gerardM le Jeu 19 Mar - 16:31


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_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33594
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

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Message  gerardM le Jeu 19 Mar - 16:40


Dawn French Fan Club - Page 5 10646692_878806815510383_2721798964600838216_n

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33594
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

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Message  gerardM le Jeu 19 Mar - 16:49

Dawn French Fan Club - Page 5 10987408_878722922185439_4165585757805029844_n

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33594
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

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Message  gerardM le Jeu 19 Mar - 23:01


Dawn French Fan Club - Page 5 11076230_879320648792333_9004524892654012519_n

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33594
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

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Message  gerardM le Jeu 19 Mar - 23:06


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_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33594
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
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Message  gerardM le Jeu 19 Mar - 23:08


Dawn French Fan Club - Page 5 1513732_879229295468135_5828764439240561218_n

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33594
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

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Message  gerardM le Ven 20 Mar - 22:52

Dawn French Fan Club - Page 5 10931085_879854812072250_2630046850836825203_n

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33594
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

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Message  gerardM le Ven 20 Mar - 22:56


Dawn French Fan Club - Page 5 11055351_879849485406116_8280134368794605762_n

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33594
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

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Message  gerardM le Ven 20 Mar - 23:12

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello.
He's rather taken aback because although she looks familiar, he can't quite remember how he knows her.
"Do I know you?" he asks.
She replies. "I think you're the father of one of my kids."

Aghast, his mind travels back to the only time he's ever been unfaithful to his wife.

"Oh God, are you the stripper from that stag weekend that I had sex with on the pool table with all my mates watching while your colleague whipped me with wet celery?"

She looks at him in the eyes and calmly replies "No, I'm your son's teacher

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33594
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

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Message  gerardM le Ven 20 Mar - 23:15


Dawn French Fan Club - Page 5 11060297_879609712096760_2977230804930048278_n

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 33594
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru

http://volangues.blogspot.com/

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