AccueilDawn French Fan Club 2
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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2
gerardM Ven 30 Déc - 15:10
The train was quite crowded, and a U. S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well dressed, middle-aged, French woman’s poodle.
The war-weary Marine asked, “Ma’am, may I have that seat?”
The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular “Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.”
The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under the yapping dog.
“Please, ma’am. May I sit down? I’m very tired.”
She snorted, “Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!”
This time the Marine didn’t say a word; he just picked up the yapping dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down.
The woman shrieked, “Someone must defend my honor! This American should be put in his place!”
An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, "Sir, you Americans seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, it appears you have thrown the wrong bitch out the window."
The war-weary Marine asked, “Ma’am, may I have that seat?”
The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular “Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.”
The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under the yapping dog.
“Please, ma’am. May I sit down? I’m very tired.”
She snorted, “Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!”
This time the Marine didn’t say a word; he just picked up the yapping dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down.
The woman shrieked, “Someone must defend my honor! This American should be put in his place!”
An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, "Sir, you Americans seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, it appears you have thrown the wrong bitch out the window."
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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2
gerardM Sam 31 Déc - 21:26
This Is Why You Should Never Piss Off Your Nurse
A bigshot business man had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his employees. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him. The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She walked into his room and announced, “I have to take your temperature.”
After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth. “No, I’m sorry, the nurse stated, “but for this reading, I can’t use an oral thermometer.” This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his behind.
After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, “I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!”
She leaves the door to his room open on her way out. He curses under his breath as he hears people walking past his door, laughing. After almost an hour, the man’s doctor comes into the room.
“What’s going on here?” asked the doctor.
Angrily, the man answers, “What’s the matter, Doc? Haven’t you ever seen someone having their temperature taken before?”
After a pause, the doctor replies, “Yes, but never with a daffodil!”
Several new words for you Muriel.
Do you know what a daffodil is? Do you know what happened to the poor guy?
Should be nice looking!
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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2
MurielB Dim 1 Jan - 23:28
Gérard I don't understand why the temperature was taken with a daffodil (Flower)
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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2
gerardM Lun 2 Jan - 11:50
I don't know if it was efficient but I guess there was no readable figures but the show was surely accomplished.MurielB a écrit:Gérard I don't understand why the temperature was taken with a daffodil (Flower)
Experienced nurses do have lots of such tricks so not good advice to piss off a nurse.
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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2
MurielB Lun 2 Jan - 22:19
Thanks Gérard for explaining !
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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2
gerardM Mar 3 Jan - 17:48
No one believes seniors, everyone thinks they are senile. An elderly couple were celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they’d shared, where Andy had carved “I love you, Sally.”
On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up, but not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money–fifty-thousand dollars.
Andy said, “We’ve got to give it back.”
Sally said, “Finders keepers.” She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.
The next day, two FBI men were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and knock on the door. “Pardon me, but did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?”
Sally said, “No.”
Andy said, “She’s lying. She hid it up in the attic.”
Sally said, “Don’t believe him, he’s getting senile.”
The agents turn to Andy and began to question him. One says: “Tell us the story from the beginning.”
Andy said, “Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday.”
The first FBI guy turns to his partner and says, “We’re out of here.”
On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up, but not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money–fifty-thousand dollars.
Andy said, “We’ve got to give it back.”
Sally said, “Finders keepers.” She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.
The next day, two FBI men were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and knock on the door. “Pardon me, but did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?”
Sally said, “No.”
Andy said, “She’s lying. She hid it up in the attic.”
Sally said, “Don’t believe him, he’s getting senile.”
The agents turn to Andy and began to question him. One says: “Tell us the story from the beginning.”
Andy said, “Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday.”
The first FBI guy turns to his partner and says, “We’re out of here.”
_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.
gerardM- Messages : 31183
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2
gerardM Mer 4 Jan - 14:49
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Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.
gerardM- Messages : 31183
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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2
gerardM Mer 4 Jan - 21:07
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gerardM- Messages : 31183
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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2
MurielB Mer 4 Jan - 22:50
I understand perfectly !_________________
La langue c'est Le Lien, Language is The Link, La Lengua es el Nexo de unión, Sprache ist die Verbindung, Il Linguaggio è Il Legame, La Lingvo estas La Ligilo etc.
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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2
gerardM Sam 7 Jan - 20:49
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned.
The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny.
So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin.
However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks.
The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man’s new face. He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his baby face!
One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice.
He said, “Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?”
"My darling,” she replied, “I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.”
The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny.
So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin.
However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks.
The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man’s new face. He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his baby face!
One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice.
He said, “Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?”
"My darling,” she replied, “I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.”
_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.
gerardM- Messages : 31183
Lieu : Ermont & Eaubonne café-langues (Val d'Oise)
Langues : Français (Langue maternelle), US-En, De, It, Ru -
Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2
MurielB Sam 7 Jan - 21:43
Very difficult to be a mother in law. 
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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2
gerardM Lun 9 Jan - 11:23
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Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.
gerardM- Messages : 31183
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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2
gerardM Lun 9 Jan - 11:31
For many years, these four guys have been going to the same camping trip to Pine Grove. It had become a tradition that they couldn’t miss. Three days before they were going to leave, Eric’s wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn’t allowed to go. Eric’s buddies are very upset that he can’t go, but what can they do.
Two days later the three guys head to pine grove without Eric. When they get to the camping site, They find Eric sitting there with his tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire.
“Dang, Eric, how long you been here, and how did you talk your wife Whitney into letting you go?”
“Well, I’ve been here since yesterday evening. I was sitting in my chair and Whitney came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, “Guess who?” I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing a brand new see through nightie.
She took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. Well, she’s been reading 50 Shades of Grey…
On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did. And then she told me, “Do whatever you want.”
So, boys, Here I am!
Two days later the three guys head to pine grove without Eric. When they get to the camping site, They find Eric sitting there with his tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire.
“Dang, Eric, how long you been here, and how did you talk your wife Whitney into letting you go?”
“Well, I’ve been here since yesterday evening. I was sitting in my chair and Whitney came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, “Guess who?” I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing a brand new see through nightie.
She took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. Well, she’s been reading 50 Shades of Grey…
On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did. And then she told me, “Do whatever you want.”
So, boys, Here I am!
_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.
gerardM- Messages : 31183
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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2
gerardM Lun 9 Jan - 11:38
Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement – not even her parents' nasty divorce.
Her mother had found the perfect dress to wear, and would be the best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever!
A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new, young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother.
Jennifer asked her father's new young wife to exchange it, but she refused. "Absolutely not! I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm wearing it," she replied.
Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, "Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day."
A few days later, they went shopping, and did find another gorgeous dress for her mother.
When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, "Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it."
Her mother just smiled and replied, "Of course I do, dear. I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding."
Her mother had found the perfect dress to wear, and would be the best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever!
A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new, young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother.
Jennifer asked her father's new young wife to exchange it, but she refused. "Absolutely not! I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm wearing it," she replied.
Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, "Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day."
A few days later, they went shopping, and did find another gorgeous dress for her mother.
When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, "Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it."
Her mother just smiled and replied, "Of course I do, dear. I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding."
_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.
gerardM- Messages : 31183
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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2
MurielB Lun 9 Jan - 21:24
Grove
==> Here is the definition I have found on the internet
==> Here is the definition I have found on the internet
1. A small wood or stand of trees lacking dense undergrowth.
2. A group of trees planted and cultivated for the production of fruit or nuts: an orange grove.
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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2
gerardM Mer 11 Jan - 15:11
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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2
gerardM Mer 11 Jan - 15:14
At first, the teacher was scared...
This Little Girl Tried To Explain Child Birth To Her Class. This Is Priceless.
VIRALSLOT.COM
This Little Girl Tried To Explain Child Birth To Her Class. This Is Priceless.
VIRALSLOT.COM
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Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2
gerardM Jeu 12 Jan - 22:00
I'm so guilty of this
5 Brilliant Reasons Why You Should Never Overthink Anything
USEFULTIPSFORHOME.COM
5 Brilliant Reasons Why You Should Never Overthink Anything
USEFULTIPSFORHOME.COM
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Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
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gerardM- Messages : 31183
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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2
MurielB Ven 13 Jan - 11:19
Let go of what you cannot change and make a difference with what you can change !
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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2
gerardM Ven 13 Jan - 17:43
_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
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gerardM- Messages : 31183
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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2
MurielB Ven 13 Jan - 18:28
Are parents necessarily guilty when their children become assholes ?
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La langue c'est Le Lien, Language is The Link, La Lengua es el Nexo de unión, Sprache ist die Verbindung, Il Linguaggio è Il Legame, La Lingvo estas La Ligilo etc.
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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2
gerardM Ven 13 Jan - 20:10
The pic doesn't state parents are guilty when their children... but bad parenting often leads to...MurielB a écrit:Are parents necessarily guilty when their children become assholes ?
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Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
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gerardM- Messages : 31183
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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2
gerardM Ven 13 Jan - 21:23
_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.
gerardM- Messages : 31183
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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2
MurielB Sam 14 Jan - 11:58
Music expresses feelings, emotions without verbal language and separates us from everything else.
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La langue c'est Le Lien, Language is The Link, La Lengua es el Nexo de unión, Sprache ist die Verbindung, Il Linguaggio è Il Legame, La Lingvo estas La Ligilo etc.
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Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2
gerardM Sam 14 Jan - 17:12
To brag=to praise oneself or one's possessions or achievements
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Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.
gerardM- Messages : 31183
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Café polyglotte sur le net (Language forum) :: salons en différentes langues (Lounges in various languages) :: Let's talk together
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